The mission set forth should I choose to accept it: Participate in the Walt Disney World Princess Half-Marathon, February 27, 2011.
About me: I'm a stay at home mom to George who just turned one and to Jack who is four. Jack is autistic and just said his first words 2 months ago. I'm married to my own Prince Charming, Jonathan, whom without I would accomplish nothing. Jon has always seen only the best in me and has the gift of bringing it out of me like no one else on earth ever has. He motivates me to be the best version of me possible and everyday, because of him, I'm happy, thankful, and inspired to make the most out of each and every day we are given.
For the last two and a half years the focus of the family has been on Jack; on his diagnosis, his treatment, and our reinvention of what our family life was going to be. Our journey over this time has definitely been a struggle, but one that has resulted in a very honest, loving, sensitive home and a family that thrives on unconditional love and one that I wouldn't change a thing about.
What it's also resulted in is a mother who has done nothing over the last four years that didn't involve childbirth, therapy or poopy diapers. While my greatest accomplishment in life will always be my role as a wife and mother, the time has come that I put on my big girl panties and venture into society again.
First point of interest: my self awareness and self confidence. Apparently, these things are pretty important if you want to be a functioning member of society. And if you don't work at it, guess what, they go on hiatus. Here's where my real honesty begins. I don't like going out in public. It's been so long since I've been social with adults because I feel awkward, self conscious, and quite frankly, have nothing to talk about besides my kids. And guess what? No one really wants to hear about it. No one cares that the Roots were on Yo Gabba Gabba, or that I could carry on a legitimate Spanish conversation thanks to the numerous hours of Dora and Diego that I've logged. Yet these are the topics of conversations that I offer to other adults who have the pleasure of my company. Yeah...I know.
Second topic of interest: my self image. And to be fair, it's not all mental. My issues fully originate from an actual number I see on the scale and an actual number I see in the back of my pants. These aren't issues that need to be worked out with Dr. Phil, they need to be worked out with Bob and Jillian, or the P90X nazis.
I'm realistic about my goals. I'm never going to be a size 2. I'm never going to be approached to be the next Athleta catalog model. But the time has come that I do want to feel good about how I look. I want to feel good about going in public and being social. I want to be able to say I've done something to increase the value and quality of my life, and something that I could be proud of because I wanted to do it and not because I had to do it.Which leads us to the mission at hand. I, along with my loving and beautiful sister Sarah, have decided to enter the Princess Half Marathon at Walt Disney World in February, 2011. The reasons are two-fold: To lose weight and get in shape, and to accomplish something for ourselves that is so out of character for us that even our dad laughed at the thought. And he had every reason to. Reason #1: I am not a runner. Let me repeat, NOT a runner. I've been in one race in my life, a 10k. Yes I pushed a double stroller, but I came in next to last. And I'm pretty sure the "last" was a 70 year old woman celebrating her recovery from breast cancer. But proud I was. I cried. I finished. But I thought for sure that the ambulance was going to have to cart me off during that last mile. It was not easy for me. But I did it. And in my mind, I triumphed. Reason #2: I don't have many of those triumphs to report. Like I said, my greatest accomplishments are being a wife and mother. But past that, my list is short.
So here's the plan. To train to become a runner. On December the 4th, there is a local 10k. That's my first goal. If I succeed, then we make our reservations for Disney on that day. I will keep this blog as a journal. I promise to be as brutally honest as possible. (that's more of an apology beforehand to the two of you that will be reading this) I won't sugarcoat or exaggerate anything that happens, or does not happen for that matter. But I also won't edit myself for that very reason. There will be many a reference to the boob problem I have, (I'll have to wear 2 sports bras if I want to do anything that resembles running or I run the risk of black eyes and or lift off from the propeller action that happens under my shirt without them.) There will also be references to the emotional turbulence that working out causes in my persona; sometimes it's pretty, other times there is cussing involved. It will be traumatic, inspiring and beautiful and ugly, but will happen nonetheless. So here we go...on this journey together. See you tomorrow.
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