Day 50: The Christmas Wish according to a Slacker

Hello friends. Long time no see. Yes I'm still here. No I haven't given up the good fight. Thank you for your inquiries. I've just been slacking. And at Disney World for a week. And fighting a house full of stomach viruses. And Christmas shopping and decorating. You know, the usual good excuses. But that's what they are at the end of the day...excuses.
The day after the Jingle Bell Jog we left for our week long Christmas trip to Disney. I was on my runner's high from the race. It felt good. It felt real good. I knew I would feel better on this trip than in year's past because I had been exercising, lost a little bit of weight and had been super productive for the last month and a half. I was also looking forward to being one of those people that I've always made fun of who go on vacation and go jogging in the morning. I mean, at Disney world you're walking at least 5 miles a day thru the parks. Why jog before you start that journey? This always perplexed me. And made me laugh. But this trip, I was actually looking forward to doing that; to running in the place where my big moment in February will take place.
And guess what? I didn't do it once. The day would come and go. I would think "I walked at least 5 or 6 miles today. I've got kids who are either asleep or dirty and need to be asleep. I have no time or need for jogging." So I didn't. And while at the time those excuses seemed completely valid and reasonable, it was still an excuse. We returned home on the 14th. Today is the 20th. I've jogged twice. Twice.
Over the last 3 days I've noted out loud the list of things that had to be accomplished for the day: Christmas presents, filling cupcake orders, baths, and a run. And the run just never comes. But I always have a good excuse. But it's still an excuse. And why is it that we can always make an excuse in the face of doing something that we know will make us feel good?
I've been obsessing over this thought for the last week. I just got to watch the season finale of Biggest Loser last night at 2 in the morning as I baked blueberry muffins for work parties. Best show on TV hands down. Year after year, it's the same story, yet I never tire of it. These people, while all under different circumstances, make the same poor choice to completely let themselves go. Every time I watch the show I think "I would never allow that to happen to me." But you know what? Those people said the same thing to themselves when they realized they were 50 pounds overweight. When they were 75 pounds overweight they said "Oh it's time for a change." When they reached 100 pounds overweight, they tried again to make a better choice. But couldn't. They always had an excuse. Whether valid ones or not, they're all still just excuses. And at some point, every person on that show has been at the same point that I'm currently at: 25 pounds overweight and trying to turn over a new leaf. And quite honestly, that scares the shat out of me. Why is it, that something I know will make me feel better, look better, and effect my entire family in a positive manner, takes a back row seat to everything else? Why is it so hard to make that a priority? Why is it so hard to eat oatmeal in the morning instead of doughnuts? Why is it that I'll exert more effort squeezing into the "dress up" girdle instead of just spending an extra 20 minutes exercising? Why is it that an hour of running is at the bottom of my to do list for the day? If I knew the answer to these questions and how to overcome it, I'd be rich, svelte, and  I would hold the key to the universal weight loss problem.
I said in one of my recent posts that I was enjoying running. I knew it felt funny when I wrote it but I just thought it was because it was still new to me. But as I read blogs and magazines and facebook updates about running, I realize that I don't love it. Not like these people do that run 7-10 miles a day. But my new found friend (and kindred spirit) Beth helped me to realize that I, in fact, don't enjoy running. But I really really like how it makes me feel afterwards; how I feel after I've completed a race or a weekend long run and when I've realized that I've met a milestone or goal or improved my time. These are the things that I enjoy, not the act of running itself. I'm wondering if that will come with time or is it all about the end effect?
Either way, I know I have to do it in order to A)succeed at my goal of completing a half marathon in February, and B)to lose weight, which I need to continue to do in order to complete task A and be happy with myself.
My philosophy has always been to take everything one day at a time; whether it's running, eating right, taking care of kids, or on the road to recovery. You start each day a new, with new goals, and a new mindset and don't worry about what happened yesterday. We can only change and be responsible for the present.
So my Christmas Wish this year, other than health, happiness, and world domination err peace, is to figure out why the hell we sabotage ourselves from reaching our fitness and weight loss goals. Or is it just me that does this? And my goal today is to put the run back at the top of my daily to do list. And I'm in a wicked meditative mood today so I'm throwing some extra quotes out there to ensure my personal success today.
Here's wishing you all a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and everything in between.
P.S. Do atheists celebrate Christmas? Just wondering
Quotes of the Day:
1. One day at a time - this is enough.  Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone: and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come.  Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering. - Ida Scott Taylor
2. Nothing is impossible; there are ways that lead to everything, and if we had sufficient will we should always have sufficient means. It is often merely for an excuse that we say things are impossible. - Francois De La Rochefoucauld
3. The road to hell is paved with good intentions. - My mother, and I'm sure every other southern baptist christian woman
Song of the Day: Wave on Wave - by Pat green